


when you're sober

by eliottsevak



Series: Buddie-Verse [9]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Cute Kids, Falling In Love, I dont know how to tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:17:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18404825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliottsevak/pseuds/eliottsevak
Summary: “i fucking love you” “hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober”





	when you're sober

Buck was sad. Sad because of Shannon and Eddie, when he got back to the hospital after helping get Maddie transferred so she could be with Chimney, he saw Eddie and Shannon, talking before Shannon pecked his lips and left the hospital. 

Buck forgot about it while he was worrying about Maddie. But now, in a bar on his 3rd, 4th shot-? He can't forget what he saw, and he knows why it makes him so upset. 

He's in love with Eddie Diaz, and he shouldn't be. It's not a gay thing, Buck has known he was bisexual and transgender since highschool, it was just a lot of things.

Eddie was straight, he liked women so much he married one and had a kid with her. Eddie loves women and has slept with only women and only loves women. The biggest thing that Buck knows would stop this relationship he's built up in his head from going any further. 

Number two of things that would stop this relationship. Buck isn't the relationship type, he sleeps with girls and guys and then leaves them minutes later, sometimes in the morning if he cares enough, he never goes back twice, and he's scared of hurting Eddie.

He's terrified of sleeping with Eddie and not knowing how to be in a food relationship. It wouldn't ever get that far, Eddie likes women. 

Number three, he's fucking married, it would be breaking a commandments and probably a sworn bible rule, and Buck knows that Eddie's family is religious, but Eddie and Chris don't seem to go to church, at all. 

But Eddie still has a wife. That he loves, that he never stopped loving, that's a woman. And a kid, that he doesn't date because of. 

Number four, Buck downs two more shots before moving to the dance floor. 

Eddie is friend, reason number four. He doesn't want to ruin their relationship by trying to kiss him or telling him that he likes him. 

Number five, Eddie doesn't know that Buck is trans. Buck doesn't know if this is a big deal to Eddie. They've never really talked about what they thought about trans people. Would that make Eddie hate him?

Buck on the best day isn't the smartest, but a sad Buck with alcohol in his system just doesn't have any self respect, or general common sense. 

So he calls Eddie, in the middle of dancing alone in the center of the dance floor. It's 3 am and Buck hopes that Eddie is awake so Buck can get his reasons sorted out, maybe make a list in the morning he can pin to his mirror to remind him.

 

Eddie picks up on the second ring, sounding like he hasn't slept at all. And Buck smiles when he hears his voice say his name.

"Eddie-" Buck giggles happily as he dances. "Eddie. Serious question" he burps and giggles again. "What do you think about transgender people?" Buck asked. He doesn't feel that worried, just kinda happy, he staggers to the bar and grabs another 3 shots of vodka.

"What, Buck what the hell do you mean?" Eddie asked, obviously confused. "One second" said Buck, voice muffled over the phone, he sets it down on the bar and downs another 3 shots. 

"I mean like. Do you think that they deserve respect?" Buck asked, a whole minute later, then promptly starts giggling again. 

"What. Buck. Yes. They're human beings. They deserve fucking rights and respect like everyone does. Except for people who voted for Trump" Eddie answered.

"Cool cool. So like. What if one of your friends was trans?" Buck asked, he was back dancing again, one arm moving wildly while he held the phone to his ear with his other. 

"I wouldn't give a shit Buck. They're my friend. What body they were born into doesn't matter" Eddie said again. Buck sighs dreamily. Eddie is fucking perfect, but straight. 

"Why do you ask?" Eddie asked them, a silence passes over them for a moment, except for the rushing and raging sounds of the club on Buck's end of the line. 

"Because I'm trans and I fucking love you" Buck hiccups, suddenly feeling sad. 

A whole minute passes of awkward silence again, before Eddie finally answers.

"Hang up, and tell me this when your sober" Eddie said. 

"Can you pick me up, I walked here. But I'm tired" Buck said, he was sad again, and sleepy, drowsy and tired.

"Yeah. I'll be there in 20."

···

Eddie finds Buck passed out on the bar, his head on his forearms and a tired snore coming from him, and he's drooling from the side of his mouth, he looks cute when he sleeps Eddie thinks happily. 

"Hey uh, how many beers did he have?" Eddie asked the bartender. "No beers, like 6 vodka shots and like 5 to 7 of tequila, but he got a whiskey when he came in drank it in one go. Some poor bastard broke this guys heart, from what I've gathered" Eddie frowns.

Someone broke Buck's heart? Who the hell Broke Buck's heart? Why would they want to? 

Eddie tries not to think about it as he and the bartender load Buck into the passenger seat of his car, Buck barely stirs and once he has a place to rest his head he's out like a light. 

Eddie drives them to his place and sets Buck up in the spare bedroom. Takes off his shoes and his jacket and jeans, buries him in blankets and leaves. 

Eddie goes to sleep that night thinking about what Buck said.

I fucking love you. 

···

When Eddie wakes up it's to Chris on the edge of his bed, shaking him. 

"Daddy, why's Buck in the guest bedroom" he asks cutely, his hair is mused, he looks like his mom, which sends a wave of sadness through Eddie. 

"Buck was having a hard time last night, you wanna go make some pancakes to make him feel better?" Eddie suggests to his son.

Chris nods vigorously and is off the bed and into the hallway in seconds. Before Eddie helps Chris with making pancakes for Buck, he drops off some aspirin and a bottle of water on the bedside table for the inevitable hangover Buck is going to have when he wakes up.

···

When Buck wakes up it's to the smell of pancakes and a headache that makes him feel like he banged it against a wall 90 times. 

Buck groans, he doesn't know where he is, and he looks to his side out of habit for a his hookup of the night, but no one is there. 

And Buck is in a random persons spare bedroom, it has to be a spare bedroom, there's a bed, an empty bookshelf and clear desk, two bedside tables with basic lamps, and on one a bottle of water and aspirin. 

Buck downs the aspirin and chugs the bottle of water in full. It was probably stupid to take random pills that he found in some random person's house, but Buck isn't known for thinking things true. 

Buck gets up and thinks about last night. He can't remember anything except for what happened to Maddie and Chim, and oh shit Maddie.

He swings open the door and he instantly knows where he is. He's at Eddie's, he's been up and down these halls a thousand times, being tugged by Christopher to look at something cool, tucking in Christopher, watching movies with Eddie at 3 am when Eddie's woken up from a nightmare and just needa someone. 

He follows the smell of pancakes into the kitchen and what he sees warms his heart. 

There's a box of pancake mix that's fallen over on the counter, and Eddie is shirtless and Chris is sitting on the counter in a oversized apron, eating raspberries off of his fingers. 

"Hey" Buck says simply, Eddie turns around. "Hey. How's your head feeling?" Eddie asked, leaning against the counter and goddamnit that should be illegal, he looks like sex appeal with a cute kid behind him.

"Better than my stomach. Which uh I'll be Right back" Buck bolts to the toilet to empty his insides and when he looks up in front of him his a spare toothbrush, toothpaste and mouth wash. 

Eddie really is the fucking best guy isn't he.

Goddamnit Buck is falling more in love.

···

The next time Buck and Eddie are alone is when Chris is playing toys in his room, Eddie is still shirtless and they are sitting on the couch together. 

"Do you remember what you said last night?" Eddie asked him suddenly. "No not much" Buck answers sadly. Shrugging. 

"You called me, and asked me what I thought about transgender people" Eddie told him, Buck can't read his face, but a blush runs up his chest all the way to his cheeks, he's hot and embarrassed, how could he ask Eddie that?

"You told me that your trans. Normally I would ignore it cause you were drunk. Maybe you didn't really want to tell me but what you said after really fucking mattered" Eddie said to him, he turned to look at him, and Buck still couldn't tell what he was thinking. 

Please don't say what I think I said, Please don't say what I think I said, Please don't say what- 

"You said you are fucking in love with me" Eddie's eyes soften and Buck cringes. He fucking knew it, goddamnit, he fell for a straight guy, who has a wife and He knows now. Their friendship is gonna be over an- 

"Buck. Before you work yourself i to a panic attack, I'm in love with you too" Eddie said softly, he places a hand on Buck's now jean clad thigh.

"That's where I take my testostorne shot" Buck spits out. He doesn't know what he expects Eddie to say, but Eddie just rubs along his thigh.

"How?" Eddie asked, patient and caring as ever, waiting for Buck to calm down a bit before continuing this conversation. 

"Well it's a needle, syringe y'know, you take the testostorne and use the syringe, get into the little thingie, tap out the air bubbles and attach the needle, and then I just inject the testostorne." Buck tells him.

It feels good to tell him, to share something so personal about him, Maddie doesn't even know the details of his t-shots, she's never done one for him or even seen him do one. 

And Buck loves Eddie, he needs to tell him. 

"Eddie. I'm. I love you too" Buck whispers, the air is thick as Eddie practically attacks him, No Holds Barred and kisses all over his face, his cheeks and nose and forehead and hell even his eyelids.

His jaw is getting peppered with kisses and he's giggling as Eddie kisses along his neck and at his tracheotomy scar. 

All the way up to his birthmark, licking at it before pressing their foreheads together. And their noses brush. 

"Can I kiss you?" Eddie asked. "Fuck yes" Buck said, reaching up and pulling Eddie down to him, kissing him harshly and tugging at his hair, god he's always wanted to Tug at Eddie's hair. 

Eddie manages to get Buck's shirt off and his own before they both realize that Chris is down the hall, so Eddie lays on Buck's chest and traces his scars. Matching crescent moons.

"If you don't mind me asking, did you get bottom surgery?" Eddie asked. "Yeah I did. And now my turn for an inappropriate question. Don't you have a wife?" Buck looks so smug. 

Eddie cracks a smile and reaches out to the coffee table and pulls a stack of papers. He shows it to Buck, divorce papers, signed by both Shannon and Eddie. 

"See. I tried to think about Chris and how much he needs a mom. But why can't he have a mom, and two dad's, Because I've found somebody to love" Eddie whispers cutely into Buck's ear.

"Did you just quote Queen at me?" Buck asked incredulously.

"You bet your cute ass I did."

**Author's Note:**

> That kinda got away from me there. Will edit tomorrow hopefully, as always follow me on Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr @eliottsevak


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